I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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