the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
