ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
