that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize