We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
