Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I smell like Dick and happiness
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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