its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
