I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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