she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
