We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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