from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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