There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize