The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
