PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major