Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
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She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
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This baby is an asshole
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.