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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeeah thank god

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.

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• 

  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?

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• 

  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter

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• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"

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• (909): View more from California

  we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??

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