Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We have so much sex to catch up on
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.