Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.

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  (424): It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection. http://tfl.nu/sw7e
  Replies (2) Good night (887) Bad night (1158)
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  (818): View more from California

  It's like a parade of train wrecks.

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  (818): It's like a parade of train wrecks. http://tfl.nu/4fe9
  Replies (22) Good night (940) Bad night (1957)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just found puke in my bra..

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  (304): I just found puke in my bra.. http://tfl.nu/wu5c
  Replies (17) Good night (928) Bad night (5744)
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  (626): View more from California

  How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.

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  (626): How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans. http://tfl.nu/e33l
  Replies (12) Good night (2682) Bad night (1132)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.

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  (732): please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me. http://tfl.nu/r1h1
  Replies (2) Good night (2824) Bad night (784)
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  (415): View more from California

  Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon

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  (415): Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon http://tfl.nu/mt9v
  Replies (2) Good night (659) Bad night (1184)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....

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  (231): My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness.... http://tfl.nu/k1tt
  Replies (5) Good night (2869) Bad night (795)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Except there is my pee all over the walls now

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  (413): Except there is my pee all over the walls now http://tfl.nu/crd6
  Replies (11) Good night (593) Bad night (1712)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back

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  (301): people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back http://tfl.nu/aa8w
  Replies (3) Good night (686) Bad night (1238)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off

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  (303): I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off http://tfl.nu/ymwa
  Replies (13) Good night (937) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.

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  (207): you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy. http://tfl.nu/cio1
  Replies (6) Good night (1694) Bad night (490)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck

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  (412): I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck http://tfl.nu/1t6b
  Replies (16) Good night (870) Bad night (1320)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.

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  (817): I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember. http://tfl.nu/qd7b
  Replies (0) Good night (824) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.

  (714): View more from California

  Who cares about New York?

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  (818): Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking. (714): Who cares about New York? http://tfl.nu/z7nj
  Replies (0) Good night (743) Bad night (292)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.

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  (+44): Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss. http://tfl.nu/34xm
  Replies (1) Good night (503) Bad night (972)

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