Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Can you return condoms to CVS?

(516): View more from New York

Only if you return your pride as well.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.

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(518): View more from New York

i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(443): View more from Maryland

She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life

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(901): View more from Tennessee

She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home

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(512): View more from Texas

I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....

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(813): View more from Florida

You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.

(1-813): View more from Florida

There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.

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