Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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