'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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