did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
