every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We had to coat check the pizza.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
