OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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