She's JV to your varsity
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize