So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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