he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I currently don't understand fingers.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
