My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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