Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
