perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize