I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize