Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
