She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
