I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
