At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
This is my gift to your gina
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
