so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
