matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Can Purell be used as lube?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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