i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
