Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
