Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize