The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
