she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
