Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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