We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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