Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
