My friends, they love my intelligence
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
