I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
