Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He? As in you personified your dick?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize