i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
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What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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