Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
