I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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