She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
So. Much. Porn.
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