He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
