Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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