The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
