i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
