I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
