I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
