Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
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I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
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