is your mom at the bar?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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