If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
