I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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