whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just want nice things and good sex
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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