DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
