I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
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