I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize