if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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