I cannot find my penis.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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