she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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