i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
